"My lover speaks; he says to me, 'Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one, and come! For see, the winter is past, the rains are over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of pruning the vines has come and the song of the dove is heard in our land.'" (Song of Songs 2:10-12)
"'The flowers have appeared in our land,' says the Divine Spouse and the time for pruning is come. What, my daughter, are the flowers of our heart, but good desires? Therefore so soon as they appear we need the sickle which shall prune away from our conscience all dead works and superfluities. Before the captive maiden might be espoused to the Israelite, she was obliged to shave her head, and pare her nails, and put the raiment of her captivity from off her (Deut. 21:12),
and so the soul which aspires to be the bride of Christ must put off the old man,
and forsaking sin be clothed with the new man; paring and shaving away all hindrances which come between it and the love of God; such a purging of our corruption is the foundation of future health."
~The Introduction to the Devout Life
I want to encourage you to dive head first with me into discernment.
The world is a busy, noisy, colorful, distracting place. I often feel like a chameleon changing with my surroundings or like the dog, Doug, from Up.
Always getting distracted. We're all so busy and caught up in so many things during the day, from chores to school to fitness, entertainment, work, play and so on. The secular world constantly bombards our senses with noise, light, images, sounds, and music directing our attention to flashy, worldly cares. We also have our own tasks and earthly goals in mind. When you're trying to discern a religious vocation, it often feels like you're juggling discernment in with all of these other occupations and distractions. The problem is, in this busy world, vocation discernment and religion in general, often get pushed to the back burner. We only pay attention to it when we feel like it and we often don't feel like it. So many nights have I come home and just wanted to crash in bed. At those moments, I don't feel like saying night prayers. But when you're discerning the religious life, you don't have to feel like it. It's something that needs to encompass your day to day life.
Discernment can't just be something you pull out of your back pocket and do. It has to be a way of life. We are immortal souls created for Heaven. This is our ultimate goal, our "dream job", if you will, so we should be striving for it every single day. All our actions and all our prayers should be directed towards Heaven. You might feel like God isn't moving as quickly as you'd like or expect Him to. Do you feel stuck in perpetual discernment? Well, it might not be God who isn't moving, but us. Are we giving Him our whole being without reserve? Are we offering Him not just the extra moments of our time but the first fruits of our days? Are we taking time in silence to listen to Him and hear His voice? Are we trusting in God completely? This is so necessary because we are imperfect fallen human beings. We must rely on our Perfect Creator to get us to Heaven.
In order to give ourselves over completely to God and His perfect will, we must put off the old man. We have to start living now in grace striving for virtue and sanctity. I know it's not possible to live like you're already in the cloister, but we must try our best to keep God's presence before us all day and in all we do, no matter what vocation we're called to. We should increase our prayer life but we also have to focus on God, even when we're not in prayer. We have to dedicate each and every moment, directly and indirectly, to God. Grow those flowers of good desires.
This can seem so hard and like the stuff of great Saints that I am not able to attain because I'm sooo easily distractible like Doug, the dog. If I try to forge my own path towards Heaven, I will quickly loose sight of it, stumble, and fall. But we're not meant to do this on our own. We have to allow Our Lord to work in us and through us. Allow Him to prune away our old desires and failings. We must follow Christ's path that He has carved out for us. But we cannot follow Christ's path begrudgingly, slowly dragging our feet. Jesus wants to show us the way, but we often don't want to follow because it will be hard. So we meander along, sort of following the path, hanging back, and looking around at all the things of this earth. We must run to Him. Take up your cross and follow Him. Dive into this discernment. You are seeking the path that He has laid out for you that will lead you to eternal glory and happiness. So dedicate yourself to finding it! With such a beautiful everlasting goal, finding it should be your number one priority. We must take refuge in the mantle of Our Lady and under the cross of Christ. Then they will carry us along the straight and narrow path that leads to our vocation, our destiny, and our final goal, Heaven.
So dive into this discernment head first. Make yourself accessible to Our Lord's workings in prayer and meditation. Look for Christ in those around you. Serve Him and offer up the little crosses of annoyance, frustration, disappointment, and rebellion that you encounter. Put off the old man and allow Christ to clothe you in His garment of grace and love. Then, He will work in you and through you. Place your hand and your heart in His and allow Him to show you His Perfect and Holy Will.
