Vocation Mythbusters for Parents (and Everyone!)

Hello friends,

I found this neat little pamphlet at a local parish and thought these questions and issues should be addressed not only to parents of young men discerning the priesthood but also to parents of young women discerning religious life.  The original pamphlet text is in black and my additions are in magenta (ooh! fancy!😊)  So here are 6 common misconceptions about a child's vocation to the religious life (or the priesthood.)

Myth #1: "He/She is too young."

"Many parents, when their young son expresses an interest in seminary, will dispense well-meaning advice: "Get some life experience first--and at least a college degree--then think about seminary later."  Mom and dad envision that with a nice girlfriend and a good job, the idea of priesthood will fade away.  The problem is, they might be right.  That's why it's important that when God moves the heart of a young man to explore the priesthood, parents should trust God that the time may be right!  College seminaries are places of joy, camaraderie, and deep spiritual growth.  Even if your son goes to college seminary and eventually discerns he is not called to priesthood, don't think he'll have to "make up for lost time."  Thousands of former seminarians look back on their seminary days with great affection and gratitude!"

We are taught to trust God's timing and divine providence.  We must trust, then, if a young person feels led or called to discern the priesthood or religious life, that this is God's timing too.  College can be a great thing for many young people, but it's not for everyone.  God's highest calling is to serve Him directly and this is especially true for nuns/sisters as His bride.  If your child expresses an interest in religious life, that should be explored first.

A brother and sister that have been called to the service of the Lord!

Myth #2: "He/She will be so lonely."

"This is an easy myth to dispel.  Priests are surrounded by people!  After all, their job is to bring Jesus to people and people to Jesus.  They are continually working with parish staff, youth, and people who come to them for spiritual advice.  Seminaries today teach men how to form good, healthy relationships with the people of their parish and the priests of their dioceses.  Sure, there can be lonely moments--but the same is true in any vocation, marriage included.  Most priests have healthy friendships with brother priests, lay people, and family that keeps them grounded and connected."

Even in a cloistered convent, a nun is surrounded by her sisters.  Most importantly, sisters have Jesus.  Many religious orders, and of course parish priests, work closely and form friendships with those they work with.  Just like the paragraph said above though, there will be lonely moments in any vocation.  God calls each person to a specific vocation that will best get them to Heaven and bring them peace and happiness.

Myth #3: "Celibacy is impossible."

"Married couples sometimes have difficulty imagining their son choosing "life without a wife."  Society would have us believe that celibacy is impossible, or at the very least, unreasonable.  The truth is that physical intimacy is indeed one of God's greatest natural gifts, but that thousands of saints have experienced tremendous joy living the supernatural vocation of celibacy.  Today's seminaries offer supurb formation in how to live chaste celibacy with peace and joy."

The same thing pretty much goes for women as well.  Yes, it is natural and God's design for men and women to share the special gift of love with each other, but sometimes God Himself desires our whole self for His own.  Religious women give their lives to God and their virginity is just part of that.  If one is truly called to this supernatural vocation, God will give them the grace for it.

Siblings at the Marian Sisters of Santa Rosa BBQ!

Myth #4: "I won't have grandchildren."

"At her only child's ordination, a woman was asked if she was sad she would never have grandchildren.  Her response? "It's not about me."  She was simply grateful that her son had found God's will for his life.  Many parents of priests are delighted to find they gain "spiritual grandchildren" --thousands of people whose lives have been profoundly influenced by their son's priesthood.  There is a special joy in meeting people who exclaim, "You're Fr. Jacob's mother?  He's such a great priest!""

This is a sacrifice people make for love of God, but there is a spiritual parenthood that sisters, too, experience.  Sisters who are teachers develop a motherly love for their students.  These little souls that are under their guidance and protection.  Even nuns in a cloister become spiritual mothers to the Church as they pray for each and every person.  These nuns are truly the heart of the Church as they support Her by their prayers and good works.

In the photo are two of the newly vested (ICK)...siblings!

Myth #5: "I'll lose my son/daughter."

"Some parents think that if their son becomes a priest, they'll never see him.  One priest laughed at this idea: "When Thanksgiving rolls around and my brothers and sisters are busy with their children and in-laws, guess what?  It's me carving the turkey with mom and dad!"  His point is that diocesan priests are able to spend a healthy amount of time with family.  Even priests in religious orders, who may have assignments far from home, are able to periodically see their parents and siblings.  In the Internet age, social media makes it easy to keep in touch."

This too is a sacrifice that parents and child make for love of God (especially when one enters the cloister.)  But our time on this earth is short and, God willing, parents will be reunited with their children very soon in Heaven!  Sometimes, however, families get to see their religious children quite a bit.  There are visiting days, celebrations, ceremonies, events with the community or parish, and other ways to stay in contact.

Myth #6: "He/She will be unhappy."

"This is the "umbrella fear" that encompasses all the others.  It's also the easiest to dismiss, because the facts prove otherwise.  a number of studies about happiness invariably find one profession ranked number one: clergy.  In his book titled Why Priests Are Happy, Msgr. Stephen Rosetti cites reliable research showing that 92% of priests report being happy.  The key factor in this happiness?  An "inner peace.""

"I wish each soul to understand that she has her special place in my heart which awaits her; that her love is necessary to me, that I long to see her happy and perfect because I have loved her even to dying on the cross for her--yes each soul."

I feel these words of Our Lord (in the image above) are the best to answer this myth.

"The ideal Catholic parent understands a simple truth: God desires your child's happiness even more than you do!  If your son experiences a genuine call from the Lord to pursue the priesthood, trust in God's love for your son! 

From the earliest years, make it clear to your children that God has a plan for them.  Read them bible stories of Jesus calling his disciples.  Engage in open conversations about your  children's hopes and dreams.  Make sure that they understand the various vocations to marriage, priesthood, and religious life.  Above all, teach them how to pray and serve others.  

If your child does express an interest in priesthood, be supportive.  The ideal parent is at peace with God's will, saying, essentially, "I will pray for you and support you as you go to seminary... and I will be equally proud of you if you discern that you must leave seminary."

Whether you are a parent of a young man considering the priesthood, a parent of a young woman discerning the religious life, a parent of a child who has already entered seminary or religious life, or if you are a young person discerning your vocation, I hope you have found this post helpful.  Remeber God will give us His grace for whatever state in life we are called to.  Sometimes things won't be easy, but each vocation has its hardships.  If you stay faithful to His guidance, God will reward you!

(All quotes are taken from Vianney Vocations' Vocation Mythbusters for Parents pamphlet.)